Category: Dating and Relationships
Have you ever hadsomeone say that they love you and when they mary you they become a totaly different person. well that has happened to me. feel free to post your coments and ask your questions. if you would like he justchangedon me the second day we were married and the obsesiveness and agressiveness continued through out the hole marrige he even called my mom a b .
so feel free to put your opinion in oh and now i am devorced.i would like to know yourthoughts on it.
I never got married but a similar thing happened to me once we had been living together for a while. We had some other problems too with me losing my sight, but he completely changed.
I'm still in search of my dreamy queen. my first one got failled. she was quiet opposite to my college days dreams and it didn't go through well. so we are apart.
I'm sure it'd be hard to get a suitable partner as per our dreams and imaginations for 100%. but at least the percentage of similarity has to be in higher side. I guess giving a good time before marriage will make us to understand each other.
lengthy conversations, various discussions, similar ffr's or sfr's will give us a good understanding I guess. lol.
Raaj!
Ouch, may be he discovered your spellig abilities.
People always say the other person turned into a b*stard or b*tch, sometimes, may be, it's right. But I think most of the time it takes two to make things work and two to make them fall apart. Some things are meant to be, some aren't. Going off publically to bash the person you were intimate with and lay all the blame at his/her door step is highly insulting often and one better make sure to be honest with oneself and accept the just part of the "blame" for things not working.
I'm no expert on this, but I tend to think that sometimes, when people get married, they suddenly feel more secure and so let go a bit. They don't have to keep up a pretence no more. In other words, they don't change, they change back. That's just my theory though. Feel free to give it the flogging it undoubtedly deserves. lol
I generally use the following when talking about such things.
"It takes two to create a heaven, but hell can be accomplished by one." - Robert Heinlein, Farnam's Freehold
wildebrew
you are right on with this. n no one owns right. there are many kinds of blindness. too often, people who say "he/she completely changed...." are exhibiting one of these. When chosing a life's mate, the two things to keep in mind are these
1. you can't change anyone. I love to eat, so all my metaphors usually surround food. here goes. Reour spouse partner is like a canned good. if you have a can of peas, but you really want corn, you better fined or learn to appreciate a can of corn. no way are those peas going to experience a miraculous transformation.
2. examine your fiancee/spouse/partner's annoying traits. which ones can you live with and which ones will drive you bananas. chances are, contrary to popular belief, togetherness will not make our heart grow fonder. One time, a guy asked me to marry him. This is not my loving husband. This dude was a great human being. In fact he still is. His one problem was that he happened to be the world's most picky eater. I love to cook. The thought of making beanie weenies and oatmeal, the only two things he ate, for the next 50 odd years drove me right over the edge. Bet that's the weirdest marriage denial you've ever heard.
TLC is what keeps a marriage and/or a relationship going. Talk, listen, or laugh depending on the situation, and Compromise, will get us through the roughest patches.